What is Social Skydiving?
Social Skydiving is like your cocky older brother saying, “I’ll bet you can’t do this thing…,” and you laugh in his face while you do that thing.
Social Skydiving is you in 3rd grade elementary school when that clique of annoying classmates TRIPLE-dog-dare you — OHHHhhhhh… And you accept.
Social Skydiving is you picking up those GIANT stones between your legs and talking to that girl standing in line next to you at Starbucks.
Social Skydiving is you walking into your boss’s office and demanding a raise, or you walk, knowing better opportunities lie ahead.
Social Skydiving is knowing you can talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, and make new friends.
Social Skydiving is you confidently ready to take on ANY long-term endeavor and having the I-don’t-know-how-this-will-go-but-I-will-give-it-my-all-mindset.
Social Skydiving is having the freedom to be you — to be exactly the person you want to be, and behave exactly how you want to, free from the fear of judgement of other people.
Social Skydiving is giving everything you have more honestly and authentically to the world.
And most importantly, Social Skydiving is a process that anyone can use to consistently challenge fear when it comes, and allow them to live the life they want.
Social Skydiving is not a YouTube channel, a website, or a forum by itself. It is not to be consumed merely for entertainment.
Social Skydiving is a real, live community of people pushing each other to challenge ourselves and overcome our fears — pushing each other to take risks in order to increase our confidence and courage, and become more awesome people.
Challenging fear does not mean doing dangerous, harmful, or life threatening activities like jumping in front of a train, riding in a car with no seat-belt, or juggling a raging hornet’s nest (although that would be impressive 😉 ).
In the world of Social Skydiving we focus on social-based fears, i.e., fears dealing with people. We challenge fear of rejection, fear of judgement from other people, fear of not being good enough and fear of failure. We do this because we know that on the other side of those fears is the life we want to live. We know that the more we challenge our fears, the more we get what we want.
Social Skydiving transforms social anxiety into social confidence. But this is not to say that it’s easy. Social Skydiving takes courage, commitment, and patience.
But I already am cool, confident, and I don’t have a shred of social anxiety in my body!
The truth is all people (except for dead people) have a comfort zone. Although your comfort zone may be much larger than the average person’s comfort zone, it’s still a comfort zone, and the walls of that comfort zone can always be expanded. In in other words, even the “cool people”, the socially savvy celebrities, and confident and collected public speakers of the world have comfort zones, and could improve their lives by using Social Skydiving to challenge those comfort zones.
No matter where you are at, it is possible to have an even better life than now. Challenging fear and expanding your comfort zone opens doors to that new and exciting life.
Social Skydiving is the perfect game for anyone, no matter what level of social confidence they have. Whether you are crippled by social anxiety and can’t even make eye contact with a stranger, or on the other end of the spectrum, you are a confident social butterfly who can’t stay out of the spotlight, Social Skydiving is an exciting game that can take you to the next level.
Wherever you currently fall into that spectrum, I invite you to try your first challenge and see if you aren’t enthralled by the adventure of Social Skydiving. I invite you to step outside your comfort zone at least once and see if you don’t become addicted to becoming a more confident and courageous person with every challenge.
I triple-dog-dare you.
Okay, so what is Social Skydiving actually?
Social Skydiving is based on the psycho-therapeutic technique called Flooding, in which the person lowers their fear of something by exposing themselves to it in small, manageable doses.
In Social Skydiving, one uses the technique of Flooding to tackle their fears by placing themselves in slightly uncomfortable, yet manageable social scenarios called challenges. A challenge could be high-fiving ten strangers, singing a song in public, or inviting a stranger to a pushup contest. The challenge has to be intense enough to make you a bit nervous, but still easy enough to accomplish. The challenge has to be winnable.
What constitutes a challenge depends on the person and their current level of social comfort. An easier challenge could be to make eye contact with 10 strangers or to high-five a stranger, whereas a more advanced challenge could be to sing a song in public or give a presentation in front of 500 people.
What’s easy for one person may be extremely intense for another, and vice versa. So each person will have their own unique set of challenges to take on.
In the game of Social Skydiving, whats most important is progress. This means starting with easier challenges, then once you build your confidence, making the challenges progressively harder. When I first started Social Skydiving, I couldn’t even talk to a stranger. I couldn’t even say hello. So my first challenge was to just say “hello” to one hundred people. Through gradual but consistent exposure, I was able to transform myself.
It’s a lot like lifting weights. You start with light weights, then once that weight is no longer challenging, you move on to lifting heavier weights – slowly, and systematically.
In the realm of Social Skydiving, the weight we lift is social pressure. As you gradually expose yourself to more social pressure, your ability to handle it grows.
Why Social Skydive?
If your goal is to meet new people, why not just go out and meet people? If you desire bringing that business idea into fruition, but have been putting it off due to fear of failure, why not just suck it up and go for it? Why Social Skydive and indirectly build your confidence when you could just go for the exact thing you want and skip the process of Social Skydiving altogether?
Why should a football player or a pro wrestler lift weights when he could just skip the gym and play his sport? Because his training prepares him for his sport just as Social Skydiving prepares you for the real life social interactions that count. We never know what adventures lie ahead of us, but being a confident Social Skydiver means you possess the courage to dive into it head first.
Often we aren’t even aware of what we want (some of us have absolutely no idea) because the lack of confidence we feel in ourselves causes us to repress our desires because we feel what we want is impossible for us to get. The more you grow your courage and confidence by Social Skydiving, the clearer you become on what you want.
Or maybe you do know what you want. But you can’t bring yourself to make that choice you know you should make. Maybe it’s signing up for a new class. Maybe it’s quitting your job and starting a new business venture. Maybe it’s that you know you need to get out and start meeting people. But for some reason, you just can’t do it. You tell yourself you will do it “later”, “soon”, or “next week”. But the time that you say you will do it is always anytime but now.
That’s because as of now, it’s impossible for you.
I know that sounds weird for me to say, but hear me out. I’m saying it’s impossible at your current level of thinking, otherwise you would have already done it. It would be like telling someone with zero experience lifting weights to walk into a gym and pick up 500lbs. It’s most likely impossible at their current level. But they have the potential to do it in the future if they put in the work. They have to change themselves first. And that takes patience, commitment, and a game plan.
With Social Skydiving you systematically build the courage and confidence to take that massive action. And you do that by first committing to easier, doable missions that take you slightly out of your comfort zone. You repeat, making those easy missions progressively harder until you have the confidence and courage to face that big, scary task that was once “impossible” for you.
But honestly, all the “become a better person” stuff aside, the real reason I continue to Social Skydive is simply because it’s fun. In the beginning, Social Skydiving helped me overcome my own social anxiety, become more confident, and get focused on pursuing the life I dreamed of.
But now, I mostly look forward to the thrill of Social Skydiving itself. Fear is a fun and exciting feeling depending on how you frame it. People pay to bungee-jump, or go actual skydiving because they love the rush. Playing this game of Social Skydiving provides that same rush, free of cost, and with the added benefit of building the social skills to live a more awesome life.
And what is this ‘awesome life’ that Social Skydiving helps you achieve?
Social Skydiving crafts you into the person who has the fortitude to go for what they want. In concrete terms, this means:
Having social intelligence and knowing people.
Being confident in your dating life. Having high standards for yourself and not fearing rejection.
Having the self-assurance to go for what you want.
Communicating with people confidently and assertively.
Being able make friends no matter where you go.
Being 100% your authentic self in front of people.
Being fulfilled in your work life.
Learning the leadership skills to manage projects or businesses.
Being able to think on your feet and adapt to any high-pressure situation thrown at you.
- Being a confident public speaker.
- Being the person to brighten up a room and give value to others.
- Consciously building your own social circle of loving, supportive, and respectful friends that empower you.
- Having massive self-confidence. Rather than thinking, “I can’t achieve XYZ because it’s me,” you think, “If anyone can do it, its gonna be ME!”
- Suddenly, you find yourself acting more confidently and trying new and exciting things, and being like, is that really me? Where did that come from!?
Practicing Social Skydiving creates this reality through the combination of courage, confidence and social skills.
Both courage and confidence are quantifiable. The more of them we have, the more we enjoy life. The amount of courage and confidence we have effects the way we perceive and interact with the world. So the more courage and confidence we have, the more able we are to face our fears and do the right thing.
The right thing = the thing that we want and need for our long-term happiness. For many, that means going for that job promotion, talking to that attractive member of the opposite sex, going out and making new friends, or otherwise just being confidently you, relaxing and sharing the moment with people.
Additionally, the more you talk to people, the better you get at it. You build social skills. Not only are you brave enough to try new things, and have the confidence that you can handle them, but you also become good at doing them.
In this way, there is a wonderful symbiotic relationship between courage, confidence, and social skills.
The rewards of life are locked up in treasure chests that are guarded by fear. You can never fully eliminate fear; you can only seek to work with it and overcome it. Courage is the gall to challenge fear and go for what you want. The more courage you have, the bigger the fear you are willing to challenge, and the more opportunities there are in your life because you are happily willing to take more risks in order to get what you want.
You build courage by facing fear. The more intense the fear, the more courage you gain, and the bigger the fear you will be able to face again in the future. When we have the experience of facing a fear and having a positive outcome, we feel good about ourselves for facing that fear. We trust ourselves to challenge fear again in the future because we know that no matter how hard it feels at the time, it is worth the effort. Gaining that trust in ourselves is what creates more courage.
Confidence is courage’s sibling. It ‘s the experience of relaxation and the lack of fear when doing something. In a social setting, it is the relaxation and the lack of fear when talking to people.
In fact, anxiety and confidence are polar opposites; they exist on a spectrum.
Every time you do a Social Skydiving challenge, you move a little more right on the Anxiety/Confidence spectrum. That is, you move away from anxiety and toward confidence.
When you have confidence, you feel relaxed because you have the conviction that you CAN do it. That is why social skills play a roll in your level of confidence. The more social skills you have, the more confidence you feel in yourself because you know you have the skills to handle the situation.
Though they work together, courage and confidence are not the same thing. Whereas courage is the ability to overcome fear, confidence is the lack of fear to begin with. Courage is how high you can jump, and confidence is lowering the bar.
You build your confidence in talking to people by talking to people. Doing a Social Skydiving challenge means talking to people in small, manageable doses that gently test the boundaries of your comfort zone in an fun and exciting way.
Social skills – your good friend
Talking to people is an acquired skill (although some people are naturally better than others). Social skills are a bi-product of throwing yourself into social pressure and interacting with people.
When you Social Skydive, you will learn the specific social skills for the life YOU want to live.
You don’t need to become that social guy/gal, walking into a party, high-fiving everyone and chatting up every person in sight – unless you want to be that guy. Social Skydiving is figuring out who you want to be and building up the courage and confidence to be that.
It’s like how you don’t need to be a millionaire to do things like travel the world, own exotic cars, or otherwise live a lifestyle that people equate with being a millionaire. You just need to figure out exactly what you want, how much it will cost, and then figure out how to earn the money to cover that specific cost.
Similarly, you don’t need to become a “social butterfly” to have a happy social life. You don’t need to turn yourself into Mr./Ms. Charisma to achieve the money or have the dating life you want. What you need is a vision of what you want and the fortitude to go for it.
What this website is and how to use use it
I created this website because I know people are all inherently willing to make the effort to overcome social anxiety and become more courageous, confident, and in control of their lives.
But not everyone does. And that’s because until now, they lacked the knowledge to make it happen. Rather than spending their valuable effort on getting outside their comfort zone and going for what they really want, they spend their effort on just merely surviving. They spend their effort on making it through their daily lives as comfortably as possible, avoiding confrontation, and avoiding anything that would invite the judgement of others. But avoiding anxiety only amplifies it. Even worse, it closes doors to the life you want.
I know that if everyone only had the knowledge to do so, they would be on their way to a more fulfilling, pleasurable life, as I have, and countless others who had the courage to try Social Skydiving.
This website is my passion and my sincere effort to impart that knowledge.
How to start
If you’re fired up and ready to start Social Skydiving NOW, start with the beginner’s guide here.
If you haven’t yet, I’d recommend subscribing to the newsletter. It’s an email that I personally send out periodically full free downloads as I release them, Social Skydiving how-tos, advanced tips, confidence building motivation, and upcoming program releases.
I have filmed and written articles on all of the challenges I have done. You can check them out here in my personal Social Skydiving journal. This is the evolution of this blog. It’s rude, crude, and unprofessional, as I have left it in its unadulterated form. That’s a core philosophy of Social Skydiving: accepting imperfection and presenting yourself to the world as you are – despite the potential judgement from others.
My writing sucks, I talk in circles, and there are enough typographical errors on this website to disqualify my college education (don’t you look at me like that, Psychology counts!).
Nevertheless, I challenge my own fear of not being good enough so that I can deliver you the most authentic, honest, and useful guide for changing yourself that I could hope to deliver.
My YouTube channel serves as a platform to share my Social Skydiving experiences. I am hosting guest challenges on my channel so let me know if you record yourself doing a challenge and I’ll feature it!
Hit me up!
If you’d like to contact me, I’d love to answer your questions or even just chat. You know, I’m always there for you if you need me…. and …. no? Too soon?
Right then. Leave a comment on the blog, find me on Facebook, or send me a DM on my Twitter or Instagram. If you have a question or a comment that’s relevant to a specific article, be sure to leave it on that article so that other readers can benefit from the discussion!
And lastly, if you live in Japan like me, let me know! I’m always down for meeting up with fellow Social Divers and tearin’ it up. It’s what I live for 😉
Before you get started, I want to make sure I have been clear. This website is about challenging social fears. I am NOT advising you to challenge your rational fears by doing physically dangerous activities like jumping in front of a car or jumping off a bridge (although bungee jumping is pretty sweet and I’d recommend you to try it in a professional environment and at your own risk!).
Social Skydive, challenge your fears, and expand your comfort zone.! But please take all advice on this website at your own risk.
Always think about the other people involved as well, and NEVER do anything that could potentially harm them physically or emotionally.
Always seek to add value to peoples’ lives.
And with that out of the way…
Let’s go take that first jump!